Gags Smile - Funny Junk News

Funny Junk News

New variety shows Monday, September 6, 2010 @ 11:53PMGrown men crying “Secret Millionaire” (ABC, no return date) The fabulously wealthy go broke for one week. “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” (ABC, Sept. 26) Spaz Ty Pennington pimps out more homes, generates tears. “Undercover Boss” (CBS, Sept. 26) The corporate kiss-up continues as bosses in disguise predictably discover company loyalists...
The Meaning of Lice Monday, September 6, 2010 @ 3:37AMI WAS FINE, I SWEAR I WAS, right up until the moment when Helen turned to me on our way into the house and whispered, "I wouldn't sit on any upholstered furniture if I were you." Upholstery - Furniture - Home and Garden - Business - Consumer Goods and Services
SHARING A BOND | PHOTOS Sunday, September 5, 2010 @ 12:09AMA demolition derby driver. The chief of a volunteer fire department. A championship-caliber archer. The operator of a bookstore whose shop once was a bank.
‘Sanctuary’ sets a high bar for festival Saturday, September 4, 2010 @ 2:33PMChicken. For those of us who've always wondered just what they do for diversion in those confining submarines, theater artist Charlotte Ford offers a possibility: They spend their days one-upping each other, which organically leads to games of chicken.
Why Sci-Fi Should Not Be On Network Television Friday, September 3, 2010 @ 12:54PMNot all network sci-fi shows are a pile of space junk, but the place for sprawling mythos, amoral alien races, zombie gore and challenging social mores is not as a lead-in to Dancing with the Stars.
Early voting flip-flop Friday, September 3, 2010 @ 11:24AMIt wasn't just our imagination, was it? For years, didn't the leaders of Maryland's Republican Party cry that early voting was a conspiracy to drum up Democratic votes and could lead to fraud and double voting?
Digital Trends' Top 5 Viral Videos of the Week, September 3, 2010 Friday, September 3, 2010 @ 7:13AMIf Bill and Ted were able to jump back in time and convince John Logie Baird (the man arguably responsible for transmitting the first moving image back in 1925) to return with them to the present day in their telephone-booth time machine, Baird would likely be baffled and shocked by the long, strange, evolutionary twists to video that have resulted in the rise of the viral video clip. Then he ...
Going the Distance Thursday, September 2, 2010 @ 6:23PMSkip It It's funny, I was just remarking to a friend the other day that more romantic comedies should make Hitler/Zyklon B references. "Going the Distance," GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Of course, it's a brief joke in a film of eternal stupidity, but the fact that the director decided to leave in the improvised line speaks to the tenor of comedy this unlikable pile of junk is chasing. I'm sure there were ...
Yo, Toronto: Chuck and Vince Want Your Electronics Thursday, September 2, 2010 @ 3:26PMCanadians are funny. To promote its electronics recycling program, the City of Toronto has created a series of three brilliant video spots that spoof "the hard sell 'bring us your gold jewelry' ads" and they're dead on. They feature two collectors, Chuck and Vince, who wave sparklers, wear gorilla masks, and shout and point at you in concert. Yo, Toronto! Have an old TV encased in mahogany? They ...
Nourishment by Gerard Woodward Thursday, September 2, 2010 @ 1:43PMJames Lasdun digests a tale of cannibalism, lavatories and sex, set amid the London blitz If Gerard Woodward seems something of an outsider in the English literary scene, it is perhaps because of the very Englishness of his work. It would be hard to think of a writer less overtly influenced by fiction from elsewhere. There's no discernible presence of the minimalists or maximalists of North ...
'Louie': The passion of Louis C.K. Thursday, September 2, 2010 @ 10:45AMWhen I was a kid, I went to a church camp affiliated with the fundamentalist, evangelical Christian church I attended. The camp was mostly fun and games, a chance to get a bunch of kids into the great outdoors and...
Slight change to the Fantasy Baseball scoreboards Thursday, September 2, 2010 @ 10:22AMI thought I'd let you all about a slight change we made to the live scoreboards in Fantasy Baseball last night. Up until last night, the scoreboards would show you every scoring category(assuming it scores live) your league uses. So for instance, if ...
Remarks about the scoring system changes Thursday, September 2, 2010 @ 10:22AMMan, it is good to know you guys are alive! When things are going great on our site, as they have been for just about the whole Fantasy Baseball preseason into the regular season, nobody says a word. It is too quiet around here. We start to wonder, & ...
Nate's Top 8: Basketball Movies Thursday, September 2, 2010 @ 10:20AMI got into a bit of a quote marathon today using the movie A Few Good Men, it made me want to run home and watch it. Once I got to thinking about older movies, I started thinking about basketball movies and what my favorites are ...
A job weld done Wednesday, September 1, 2010 @ 11:12PMEAST COBB - Other people may consider it junk, but when Kathy Walton of east Cobb sees old file cabinets, lawn mower parts, rusty tricycles and other trash left on driveways for garbage collectors,...
Sound Off: Schools need change Tuesday, August 31, 2010 @ 9:44AMThere have been numerous complaint about the wasteful spending in all our area school districts. Look at the headline of The Reporter on Aug. 26, "Questions swirl in SASD" followed by a smaller headline, "Gym floor at SAHS buckling."
Midday shootout rocks city neighborhood Monday, August 30, 2010 @ 3:15PMJose Miranda, 21, of 221 Wilson St., is wanted for two counts of felony reckless conduct, according to police, and should be considered armed and dangerous.
Debbie Mayo-Smith : Connections key to beating the email turn-off Sunday, August 29, 2010 @ 1:37PMIt's funny. One of my Facebook business page posts last week that generated the most responses was this: "If I answered all my junk mail this morning, all my dreams would come true and I'd be in line for millions of offshore dollars...
Review: The Switch Sunday, August 29, 2010 @ 10:19AMThis rom-com about an artificial insemination switcheroo is more bro-mance than chick flick. Jason Bateman shows up co-star Jennifer Aniston in The Switch.
THE GREAT ALTERNATIVE DIET EXPERIMENT PT. 3 Sunday, August 29, 2010 @ 6:05AMSadly, the Great Alternative Diet Experiment has come to an end. It’s time to close the books on the editors’ time as people pursuing unusual ways of eating.
The PCC's other Jordan Sunday, August 29, 2010 @ 4:02AMJordan Hanaway is always looking for a way to improve as a runner. While the Hebron cross country star wants to blaze her own trail to success, she really doesn't mind playing second fiddle -- at least at the present time -- to another Porter County Conference runner who shares the same first name.That runner, of course, is Boone Grove's Jordan Chester -- one of the state's top runners.
Reporter's Notebook: Brenda Norrell Sunday, August 29, 2010 @ 12:06AMBorder residents are on guard, ready to spot and video tape the invading Border Patrol and National Guardsmen arriving on the Arizona border to terrorize border residents.
Bleak houses, cute creatures Saturday, August 28, 2010 @ 3:51PMAntoniadis and Stone at Fourth Wall, plus 'Little Critters' at the Nave Antoniadis and Stone at Fourth Wall, plus 'Little Critters' at the Nave DOGHEAD VIDEO: Barb and Scott Withers film a dogheaded person enjoying a midnight snack. “Boston Related” | Fourth Wall Project, 132 Brookline Ave, Boston | Through September 4 “Little Critters” | Nave Gallery, 155 Powderhouse Blvd, Somerville | Through ...
Book Review - Author deals with issues with candor and a dose of humor in 'Designated Fat Girl' Saturday, August 28, 2010 @ 3:17PMBig is beautiful? Don't tell Jennifer Joyner.
This week, Amanda Holden gets wet and wild, and cosies up to Paris Hilton... Saturday, August 28, 2010 @ 3:15PMI hadn't been planning on doing anything glam while on holiday here in LA, but Piers needs a date for the launch party of Paris Hilton's new fragrance, Tease, because his wife Celia is away with work. So I run to the shops and snap up a gorgeous LBD from my fave American label BCBG Max Azria.
I Can Haz Cheezburger Guy Wants to Buy Reddit [Offers] Saturday, August 28, 2010 @ 2:16PM# offers Ben Huh has one of the best names in tech. He also runs the lucrative Cheezburger Network meme factory . Now, he's made a public gambit for Reddit, the popular linkdump currently locked in combat with owner Conde Nast . More »
Not your typical sex manual Friday, August 27, 2010 @ 11:43AMSex: Our Bodies, Our Junk is an irreverent (and irresponsible) book on the subject of sexuality. Big fun, in other words. It's filled with sensual but sensitive sex tips for men, such as how to put your wife in the mood.
Pondering Public Sculpture in Manhattan Thursday, August 26, 2010 @ 6:04PMA few exhibitions around Manhattan this summer afford an opportunity to contemplate what public sculpture should do.
My Ex Bonds and Ben Bernanke Thursday, August 26, 2010 @ 4:45PMThree-four years ago I had a nice bond portfolio. For a guy who should have know better I completely boinked it up. I fell prey to the worst of errors. I let disbelief guide my choices. I had a bunch of high coupon NYS GO Muni’s. Almost all of them have been called. I had 5 and 5 1/2% Agency MBS. I knew that was subject to prepay, but I never expected to get 80% cashed out. The corporate’s were ...
Fannie, Freddie, and the mortgage addiction Thursday, August 26, 2010 @ 1:08AMSince the mortgage market can't suddenly wean itself off government-supported Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, some experts want more federal intervention. They're wrong.
Ontario, like California, going for broke Wednesday, August 25, 2010 @ 5:26AMUse of low interest rates to finance higher debt setting province up for a fall
Earth to Bill Gross: We Chickens Know You Are The Fox Minding the Henhouse Wednesday, August 25, 2010 @ 3:52AMBoy, when you think you’ve seen the worst in utterly shameless, self serving tripe, someone manages to outdo it. Admittedly, it’s awfully hard to beat Steve Schwarzmann’s recent one-two punch of utter canard wrapped in tasteless hyperbole, that of Obama proposals that private equity kingpins pay taxes on what is really the fruits of their [...]
Earth to Bill Gross: We Chickens Know You Are the Fox Minding the Henhouse Wednesday, August 25, 2010 @ 3:52AMBoy, when you think you’ve seen the worst in utterly shameless, self serving tripe, someone manages to outdo it. Admittedly, it’s awfully hard to beat Steve Schwarzmann’s recent one-two punch of utter canard wrapped in tasteless hyperbole, that of Obama proposals that private equity kingpins pay taxes on what is really the fruits of their [...]
Slumps and Dumps: Aces in a hole Tuesday, August 24, 2010 @ 10:08PMGuys like Yovani Gallardo and Dan Haren are fantasy aces in reputation only.
Sonoma: Post-race press conference Monday, August 23, 2010 @ 9:13AMTHE MODERATOR: We're joined by today's second-place finisher, Scott Dixon of Target Chip Ganassi Racing. The end, quite an exciting race. Talk about chasing Will in the final laps.
Jihad comedy misses the point Sunday, August 22, 2010 @ 6:05PMAn idiot with explosives strapped to his waist is still dangerous.
The war comes home: Day-by-day, services around the country honor fallen Sunday, August 22, 2010 @ 3:53AMIn the summer twilight, a crowd gathers on a baseball diamond in Seattle, candles in hand, to remember a sailor who not long ago ran this dusty path.
Books for Kids: From fish to flowers, great apes to garbage Sunday, August 22, 2010 @ 2:54AMWith all the 'big kids' heading back to school, here are a few books that might help keep the little ones still at home occupied - and that may teach them a thing or two about the world around them.
Investors flock to junk bonds Friday, August 20, 2010 @ 7:11PMIn an environment where decent returns are hard to come by, high-yield corporates offer a haven
Lucky numbers, but definitely not a winner Thursday, August 19, 2010 @ 9:31PMThere's a one-in-a-billion story to "Lottery Ticket": Those are the approximate odds against a script this bad making it out of the introductory seminar at film school. Bow Wow (no longer Lil, except in acting ability) plays Kevin, a polite and hard-working high school graduate who is so earnest...
Doing Denver: A mile of men at Elitch's this Friday Thursday, August 19, 2010 @ 8:07PMPlus, comedy, viral videos and retro dancing, oh my! Do you know what's neat? A "big" city. Cool bars. Nightlife. Alcohol. A mile of men. What? Did you say something? I got distracted...
Target Shareholders Get Mad Thursday, August 19, 2010 @ 7:36PMTarget shareholders are demanding the company reform its donation policies to avoid a repeat of the companies $150K donation MN Forward, which supports antigay gubernatorial candidate Tom Emmer.
Charging the Mound: Next big thing(s) Thursday, August 19, 2010 @ 7:08PMWhat type of players should you target to draft the breakthrough players of 2011?
Screen Talk: Follow that stream Thursday, August 19, 2010 @ 6:29PMOnline streaming of films continues to be largely regarded as a necessary annoyance rather than an actual business with profit.
War comes home: Day-by-day, services honor fallen Thursday, August 19, 2010 @ 4:09AMThe ritual has grown agonizingly familiar: The transfer of the fallen at Dover Air Force Base, then the journey to a final resting place.
Slumps and Dumps: Stars fade Wednesday, August 18, 2010 @ 8:08PMThis week's edition of Slumps and Dumps includes some big-name guys expected to lead championship charges.
A Seasonal Sales Shift: For Bargain Hunters, Retailers Make Every Day Feel like Christmas Wednesday, August 18, 2010 @ 3:21PMTarget, Toys R Us, Sears and Kmart are just a few of the big retailers that have launched mega-sales in recent weeks to tempt increasingly cost-conscious shoppers to their stores. This phenomenon -- known as the seasonal sales shift, or "Christmas creep" -- is not new. But in today's uncertain economic climate, it has bigger implications than ever, both for the retail sector's growth strategies ...
The Sims Medieval preview Wednesday, August 18, 2010 @ 11:44AMTo research the Middle Ages for this game, the developers at EA read books and watched movies -- lots of movies. Starting with A Knight's Tale, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and The Princess Bride. If that doesn't tell you something about this game, you lack the necessary culture level to play it.
Warning: Fake LinkedIn E-Mail Could Infect Your PC Sunday, August 15, 2010 @ 8:56AMA new spate of e-junk that masquerades as a message from a colleague is on the rise. E-mail - United States - Spam - FAQs Help and Tutorials - Video Games
Your car reflects your personality Sunday, August 15, 2010 @ 12:11AMYou can learn a lot about people by what they drive. Some peoplesay cars mirror our personalities (especially if they drivesome-thing new, sporty or classic).